Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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