we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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