Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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