the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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