i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize