She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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