I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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