Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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