i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize