So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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