She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize