Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize