We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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