ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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