Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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