I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Four minutes until I can fart!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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