honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize