Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize