i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do herpes really smell.
Just invented taco cereal.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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