Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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