haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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