I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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