you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize