What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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