My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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