I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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