we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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