chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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