I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize