did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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