Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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