so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The air was thick with penises
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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