look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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