So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
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We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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