if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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