you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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