The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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