you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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