We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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