but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
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Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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