Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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