im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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