ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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