Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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