meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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