you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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