it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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