We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize