awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
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Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
is it fun? or sober?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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