I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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